West Witch

I walked by a house today and saw a beautiful wardrobe in one of the windows. I broke into the house and opened the wardrobe and ran inside… it didn’t work. Though the books you guys recommended CLEARLY INDICATED that this was a method of inter-dimensional travel. It doesn’t look like that source was reliable.

However, a new potential lead. Someone told me about a girl who traveled to another world by walking through a mirror. I’ll be gone for a bit to see if I can locate a mirror like this. I’ll respond to you all when I finish my quest (unless I’m successful).

I tried reading the book. It lead to no clues on how to get home. It was utterly blank, unsurprising seeing how other “Fictionals” have experienced the same. I really hope you people expected otherwise — that somehow I would break the pattern that I’ve seen you discussing. I am glad that you are working in a way to return me home… but know that I will be most displeased if you were deliberately wasting my time. Do not test my patience.

If you have a book to recommend that details how I could travel from one world to another, make sure the book actually contains such travel. And, more importantly, make sure it’s one I can read.

I have been looking through your forums in greater depth. While some elements seem…childishly absurd, your theories seem fairly sound.

The idea of the boundary separating fiction – my world – from reality seems to be a complicated relationship. How is it possible that something that sounds so inherently metaphysical can break in a physical manner? If the Fourth Wall truly contains this White Void, then it is a physical realm.

This does lead me to believe, however, that there must be ways to go back. Perhaps it would require finding a physical crack, rather than these echoes? Perhaps it would require a character somehow reaching into these echoes, reconnecting with them? I do not know, and it seems like we will have no way of knowing until this Administrator figure has completed his research to his satisfaction.

However, if I know anything, I know that there are plenty of stories that feature crossing from one world into the next. I believe that I may apply myself to this research and discover an alternate route home. As the Administrator would say, further research is required. Like him, I cannot possibly do it all alone. Please, send me your ideas. I am open to any suggestion.

In the meantime, let us try to make this world a little more livable. If it is such that I never return home, I need to make sure that this world becomes what I need it to be. There needs to be more controlled, intentioned, meaningful evil in the world today and I am the only woman who stands for bringing it back. Continue posting my flyers and report back with new recruits. I must win. I must become Wizard if I am to survive here.

I’m not quite giving up on my campaign, by the way. Maybe if I win this race to be Wizard, I can leverage the governments resources to this matter. Or find a way to fix what makes your world so… terrible.

But… it’s not just the elements that are wrong here… it’s the people, the mockery and bureaucracy that stands in the way of true evil.  Based on the tone of some of your comments, I’m not sure I have much hope.

So I need a backup plan. I’m going to do what I can to get home.

I hate it here.

I absolutely cannot STAND your world any longer.

Shortly after I got back to Kansas there was a storm here. Perhaps it was a typhoon — I don’t know. In any case, there was rain.

I am used to keeping the rain away from me with magic, but this…I could not stop it.

As the thunder crashed and the lightning struck, I curled up and watched from a safe distance. I thought only about whether the roof was leaky and the windows were closed properly. I cannot remember another time where my mortality occupied such a large portion of my thoughts.

No one else was scared. Even though storms are unusual here, the news reports have little to say about it. They focus instead on how this storm had been predicted for the last week.

Is this the world I have unwillingly, unwittingly entered?

Several of you have offered to get me home. This is about the only good thing that has happened recently. I need you to try everything you can. I’ll be doing my own research into the matter.

Okay, well… that was a disaster. I feel awful. I want to curl up into a ball and die. I briefly considered pouring water on myself, but fortunately, the mood passed.

Here’s what happened. I walked in through the front doors of one of the banks. I cackled as I told the teller I wished to meet with a banking executive, to discuss our best evil plans for the future. She started laughing. I didn’t understand why. I thought my cackling was sufficiently evil-sounding. Evidently not.

They wouldn’t even meet with me. I was told, on no uncertain terms, that the banking executives wouldn’t share my interests, I had no chance, and I was wasting my time. I think she thought I was a joke.

I didn’t know what to do after that. I kind of just… wandered around for a bit. It had started raining, so I pulled out my umbrella. Finally sat down by a statue of some guy named “Duffy” to collect my thoughts and write this post.

This world is all wrong. Where I’m from, it’s fun to be evil. Good people expect it of you. It’s this dance that we do; they play their part, we play ours, everybody has fun (I do, at least) and nothing unexpected happens. The conflict between good and evil has a point. Here, evil is meaningless. And the evil people don’t realize they’re evil. They don’t have a chance to enjoy it or revel in it, cause they’re too busy thinking they’re right.

I need to win this election, to set things right. But if I can’t…

Well, I don’t even want to think about that right now.

In my time away, I’ve been doing extensive research into the way politics work in your world.

It appears that launching a campaign, especially this late in the game, requires significant funding, something which I do not currently have. Luckily, I have also discovered that a large amount of the money in this world is in the hands of  ”bankers” and “Wall Street executives” who, according to the articles I found on the internet, are responsible for most of the current evils in your world.

This is perfect. We will bond over our mutual appreciation of villainy, and just like that, I shall have the financial backing I need. I will outspend the other two Wizards, and my victory will be secured!

I’m on a train to the headquarters of many of these villains right now.  Stay tuned, my minions — I’ll have the results tomorrow.

You are not the only one who can “follow a digital trail,” Sicon. I do background checks on all my minions… especially when they are accusing each other of fraud. So I found your little hangout. I only skimmed a few threads, enough to discover your planned deception, but seeing how it seems to be a base of operations, it made sense to direct people that way.

I haven’t taken greater action because it didn’t seem important. Talking about deceiving me is desirably evil. Actually attempting to follow through with such deception, however, is foolish. 

Needless to say I will be keeping tabs on all your efforts. Despite your talk of deception, I see real action being taken, and that pleases me. Much more that some of the other things in this world are, right now…

It seems I was right in my choice– my new campaign managers are already setting our evil in motion. Since a large part of their plan seems to involve posters, I have decided to workshop a sample of what I would like to see.

If you believe in my cause, you may use it to promote my campaign. You may also use it as a basis for inspiration if you are artistically inclined. Either way, my message will be spread across this wretched land, and I trust you will all be on my side when I become Wizard!

I have read through countless applications – some of which showed promising evil aptitude, some of which proved disappointing – and I have finally come to my decision.

My new campaign manager is Sarah T. Her connections and ideas have convinced me that she is the candidate who will help me ascend to the top of this mess you call the Democratic Process.

She will be aided by Andrew and Greg S., two men who I am confident will be the best right and left hands a campaign manager could ask for.

Now. It is time we begin brainstorming. Failure is not an option – this world is too chaotic and must be made to conform for simplicity’s sake. It falls to the hands of my campaign management team, who I’m certain would not enjoy seeing what I do should we lose.