I DON’T KNOW HOW OR WHY, BUT YESTERDAY I SUCCESSFULLY CURSED A WAITER!
He turned into a KANGAROO. How DIABOLICAL — they are not even native to the region, he will have no idea how to deal with local predators.
THIS IS GLORIOUS! LOOK OUT, YOU STUPID WORLD! LOOK OUT, MEXICO! I’VE GOT PLENTY OF PENT UP EVIL TO UNLEASH!
EEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!
…my cackle is far less effective in text.
Well, it would appear that Mexico has a new president as of…yesterday. Congratulations for that. Ruining all my plans. Bah.
I’ve decided to it is time to learn Spanish. If I’m going to be in Mexico – or anywhere south of the United States – I should know how to communicate properly. (I should probably learn some Portuguese as well, though that should come easily after knowing some Spanish from what I have gathered.)
What would be the best way to go about learning the language? I am aware that classroom Spanish is not necessarily the language that is spoken, and I also know that there is bound to be regional variance. Where should I start?
Specifically, I would like to know if there exist particular phrases that will help me in my eventual takeover of the world. That is, if I stay here. I would still prefer to go home.
In the past several weeks, I have conducted various experiments with a substance called alcohol, specifically focusing on what happens when it enters the body in large quantities. Apparently, the answer is you wind up in a country where you don’t speak the language. I am just glad I brought a smartphone with me…though I must say, I can’t recall when or where I obtained it.
I don’t remember how I got to Sao Paolo, nor how I found myself the sole proprietor of a cactus shoppe, but it’s taken me up until now to reach the borders of the States again. The border guards are hesitant to let me back in, seeing as I am lacking a passport. The oafs are apparently unaware that I was a presidential candidate.
I find myself stuck in Mexico.
EDIT: These smartphones are too tiny to use with real hands! It took me ages to figure out how to do the accents in the phone. The city was actually São Paulo.