Wednesday, August 10, 2022 17:32

Wasted Time

In the past several weeks, I have conducted various experiments with a substance called alcohol, specifically focusing on what happens when it enters the body in large quantities. Apparently, the answer is you wind up in a country where you don’t speak the language. I am just glad I brought a smartphone with me…though I must say, I can’t recall when or where I obtained it.

I don’t remember how I got to Sao Paolo, nor how I found myself the sole proprietor of a cactus shoppe, but it’s taken me up until now to reach the borders of the States again. The border guards are hesitant to let me back in, seeing as I am lacking a passport. The oafs are apparently unaware that I was a presidential candidate.

I find myself stuck in Mexico.


EDIT: These smartphones are too tiny to use with real hands! It took me ages to figure out how to do the accents in the phone. The city was actually São Paulo.

9 Responses to “Wasted Time”

  1. Pixelmage says:

    Are you still in the same São Paulo, or did you leave that city already?

    • West Witch says:

      I left already. How would I be in Brazil and right at the border of the states? Mexico and Brazil are really quite different, you know. It’s an insult to both to assume otherwise.

      • Pixelmage says:

        Thanks for that reply! Being a Brazilian myself (:gasp: Personal Info lol), I find that many times english speakers have no idea of the difference. It’s reassuring to know you are one to be aware of it. :D

        • West Witch says:

          I do try to be sensitive.

          By the way, I don’t think I’ve ever encountered as much traffic as I did in São Paulo, not even in New York City. It took us nearly 8 hours to get out of the city. Truly ridiculous.

  2. Blurred_9L says:

    Hi, I haven\’t really commented on previous entries, but this time I will. So, it seems you\’re in Mexico, though I\’m pretty far from where you might possibly be, I\’m from Mexico too. Well, I\’d like to ask you about your experience in this country (if you were not particularly inebriated to forget about it), but this is not the time for that. I\’d like to know in which state of Mexico you are now. Perhaps Baja California, Sonora, Chihuahua, Nuevo Leon, Coahuila or Tamaulipas? (I just named all the states that border with the US by the way…)
    And yes, the border rules are kind of strict. It\’s a kind of touchy subject in both countries. Well, hope you can go back soon.

    • West Witch says:

      It has been difficult to tell as I do not speak the language, but if I am not mistaken, I am in Chihuahua. I could be in Sonora, though.

      And yes, the border patrollers are being quite strict. They keep making a fuss about my skin. They seem to think I must have a disease! If I had been elected, there would have been plenty of changes made to how we handle things like our borders.

      • Blurred_9L says:

        Well since you’re here now, I guess you now have two options if you can’t get back to the US by yourself:
        1.- Ask some shady dudes to help you getting back into the US which is kind of dangerous in my opinion. Also those guys would probably ask for a lot of money which I’m not sure if you have right now.
        2.- Try to stay here for a while. I know it’s not the same, but most Mexican people like to help others, so maybe you could find somebody who can help you. I don’t know, maybe you’ll find something interesting to do.
        You might choose to do something else too, it is your choice after all. Would be nice to know what it is though.

  3. H says:

    My advice would be to disregard option 1 most strongly.
    I feel dreadfully sorry for you about the racist behaviour of the border guards.

  4. Sarah_T says:

    …I have no idea how much you must have drank in order to end up there. Frankly, everything you do is impressive in it’s extremeness.

    Anything we can do to help you out?

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