Okay, well… that was a disaster. I feel awful. I want to curl up into a ball and die. I briefly considered pouring water on myself, but fortunately, the mood passed.
Here’s what happened. I walked in through the front doors of one of the banks. I cackled as I told the teller I wished to meet with a banking executive, to discuss our best evil plans for the future. She started laughing. I didn’t understand why. I thought my cackling was sufficiently evil-sounding. Evidently not.
They wouldn’t even meet with me. I was told, on no uncertain terms, that the banking executives wouldn’t share my interests, I had no chance, and I was wasting my time. I think she thought I was a joke.
I didn’t know what to do after that. I kind of just… wandered around for a bit. It had started raining, so I pulled out my umbrella. Finally sat down by a statue of some guy named “Duffy” to collect my thoughts and write this post.
This world is all wrong. Where I’m from, it’s fun to be evil. Good people expect it of you. It’s this dance that we do; they play their part, we play ours, everybody has fun (I do, at least) and nothing unexpected happens. The conflict between good and evil has a point. Here, evil is meaningless. And the evil people don’t realize they’re evil. They don’t have a chance to enjoy it or revel in it, cause they’re too busy thinking they’re right.
I need to win this election, to set things right. But if I can’t…
Well, I don’t even want to think about that right now.
What if we can find a way to return you home? Would you take the opportunity?
I’m sorry if I’m feeling sympathetic to you. I know it’s not very evil, but I can understand why the way our world works could upset you. We ultimately are just trying to set things right for you and others in your situation.
What would the terms and conditions of such extraordinary extradition would you propose?
Most unfortunate, though I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. But one must not be discouraged. Your evil is pure and true, and you have what it takes to beat the other two wizards. We all believe in you. *clap* *clap* *clap* I hope that’s encouraging enough.
Lady Witch, I think this world is taking a toll on you. I’m not going to say you won’t become a Wizard (though I did say I couldn’t guarantee it), but I think you should come up with a last-resort plan. I consider Adell’s suggestion reasonable.
You know, I really have to agree with you here. Back when I first sent that message after we found your ad, I never really lied. It was all just an exaggeration of things I already thought. It’s been years since I ever seriously felt like I enjoyed this world. It’s boring, drab, and at times, depressing. There is a reason I’ve shut myself off from the rest of the world, I guess. Really, I had more fun messing around here than I’ve had in a long time, because things finally were interesting again.
However, my position does not change. I am still going to do my utmost to return you to the place from whence you came. It is where you belong, where you feel at home, and where you cannot harm this world. To be honest, I think you would be far happier there than here anyway. Perhaps I can even arrange to send you to another new world, one where you understand things, one that works the way you want it to.
It really is the best solution for all involved.
As I said. This world does not take too kindly to evil. It hasn’t for years and yet it stayed here. This world is plagued with ideals rather than responsibilities, idiocy instead of logic. You will come to find there is much more things to dislike of this world than you can possibly imagine.
Yeeeah we REALLY should have warned you better about this kind of thing.
I\’ve emailed.
Not encouraging this, but you oughta do a coup d’etat.
Don\’t be rediuclous, who would she do it WITH? We haven\’t any flying monkeys here in case you hadn\’t noticed and we\’re still working on recruiting people just to VOTE.
Maybe you should try being good. In this world it is a little bit more fun being the good guy… girl… witch. Yeah.
I\’m with you on this, Ms Witch. I\’ve felt much the same about this world for a long time (not the part about needing to win the election, but about the meaninglessness of it all). For a long time, I\’ve felt that it would be better to be a fictional character, at least everything has logic and to each his own purpose. But for us, we\’re doomed to stay in this literally pointless world and we all have to find some way to deal with it, whether it involves curling up in a ball or screaming at people.
You, on the other hand.
Maybe this is just me wanting to live vicariously through you, but you at least have the chance of returning to your world. Your world, like you said, is where people play the parts they\’re expected to and everyone enjoys it. I know I loved it when I read about you. I\’m curious, would you like to return home? From all you\’ve said so far, it really sounds like you would much prefer to go home, since it seems as if you want to fix this world by making it more like your own. Pardon me if I\’m wrong. Whatever happens, as Gregalicious said, we\’re with you.
-agoraoptera
Help can come from unexpected places. Do not fret. The most evil people always come out on top. >:D